Many people tell you to take time after you break up to heal.
Well theoretically I know that, but how?! I hated hearing that and if you never did it, you don’t know exactly how. I knew personally, I desired to reconnect with my feminine side. To be honest, she laid dormant and comfortable for far too long looking frumpy in her old relationship. And that was a good start for me. What I gradually did next is where the process to healing began. Overtime I developed these 10 ways to help heal after a breakup or divorce.
This was my process. And daily, is still a process but it could be a fun journey of self love and discovery which I knew I needed. I used this time to connect and heal with my inner child and heal after my divorce. Here are some suggestions, but do you what works for you in any order it naturally happens for you. Healing is not linear so let it flow and trust yourself.
Take a Movement Class
A yoga or new dance class gets you in tune with your body more than just working out. A fun activity that allows you to express yourself, take you out your comfort zone to connect and energize your body.
Try a New Hobby
Try a new hobby you always wanted to do that you didn’t have the time to do while you were married or continue doing something you are already doing. Hobbies should be fun and no pressure to do anything with them. Mine are pottery and sewing.
Reconnect with old Friends
If you were like me you cut people off. My reason for it was dramatic (more on that in another post), but the point is to reach out to people who knew you before marriage who can remind you of the person you were and who you wanted to be.
You are going to want to get out there but take your time and date intentionally and for fun. I thought I wanted to be in a relationship but men, honey, were not where I thought they were. I realize needed more time to rediscover myself, heal from a traumatic few years and have discernment in who I dated. You don’t have to commit to anything, just get to know people, test the temperature of where people are at now because you were out of the game for a bit.
Connect with you Inner Child
I really had to connect with my inner child. For me she was the emotions and feelings that sat with me everywhere I went. She was sad and alone. I really had to work on loving her and making her feel secure and cared for. After a breakup, in the process of healing you can try to understand the reason you got married; what you hoped to gain from marriage, what feeling of lack allowed us to marry the person we were married to.
Get comfortable with going out alone. Get comfortable to learn to how to be alone, heal codependency. Sure it can me fun to go out with others, but you’re constantly processing your failed relationship. In processing your big change in life, its healthy to grieve what you lost but not plan for your future and what that looks like
Move to where you always wanted. I’m still working on this, but in due time honestly a fresh start is a new beginning and can make the process easier so you don’t have to be constantly reminded of your old life. Sometimes you cannot heal in the same place that broke you. Get the heck on!
Work on your credit and savings
Whatever you need whether credit counseling to build and take off negative remarks on your credit do. Also save save save your money! I started with 10% of my income before I spent anything is what I did. Build financial literacy, start small because now you are single independence is key and having your money in order is key! Your money was tied up together, so after divorce you are single now, so your money has to heal itself too lol.
Get a New Degree
I enrolled in a Masters program for Social Work. Now that you let go of the stress of a stressful relationship, you can focus on finishing that degree or start a new once. Go for something you see yourself working in that will allow you to take care of yourself. Thats probably a given but its mandatory, independence is key to healing.
Get up and go to places you haven’t been to or revisit places you have been. Explore the big wide world because its amazing and beautiful. Try out healing retreats, spas, or local wellness group trips or just go with friends. Traveling could heal the soul