Unbecoming

Becoming Women

As little girls we grow up with dreams and aspirations and goals. But somewhere along the road we grow, and those little girls lose sight of her dreams. We get distracted with love, boys, girls, and friends. At least for me, I did not know my place in the world as a young women. I lacked the guidance and confidence I needed to be myself. We are conditioned to put emphasis on romantic relationships and friendships, instead of the relationship you have with yourself. For me, since I did not know what I wanted for myself personally, I became something I thought was easy. What I thought the best, and honorable thing for a women to be, which was a wife and mother.

Once I became that, I realized I was missing something. I felt disconected from myself. I needed to experience my own personal growth. Who was Charissa as a person, outside of my responsibilities? To unbecome, I needed to connect to my true self, alone.

Being Alone

The key to being comfortable alone, is to love yourself enough, to create space for you to hear God and yourself.

My best advice for being single is to obviously, become alright with being alone. Being alone is scary at first. You may be afraid of what you are missing out on and what everyone else is doing. But that is the time you will find the most rewarding. You have the time to learn who you are and explore new things

When I was with someone, in the past I would give up so much of myself that I lost myself. Subseqently from the space I gave myself, I realized I am not ready for a relationship still. I never gave myself the time to become, me and I am enjoying the journey. I have so much more to achieve for myself. And relationships, especially with the wrong one have proved to be a distraction for me.

Coming out of my marriage, I wanted to leave but was unsure of what I needed to heal from. The most I knew I needed, was to become the person I was putting aside for so many years. The reason I left may seem selfish, but I felt my personal development was stunted and trapped in my relationship.

Now What?

Now, it is my time to fully love myself, mature and learn who you truly are, deeply. The best part is now I have the to opportunity to do whatever my heart desires. The beauty is in the freedom that I do not have to answer to or explain myself to anyone.

I used this time to explore my:

• Interests
• Beliefs
• Values
• Skills
• Dreams

“I was not clear and focused on my goals to know what I wanted for my life. Now I made the space for myself to reclaim my time and give back to me.”